It chooses you (2011) - Miranda July
In my paranoid world every storekeeper thinks I'm stealing, every man thinks I'm a prostitute or a lesbian, every woman thinks I'm a lesbian or arrogant, and every child and animal sees the real me and it is evil.
(p.11)
This sometimes happens when I'm faced with actualities - it's like déjà vu, but instead of the sensation that this has happened before, I'm suffused with the awareness that this is happening for the first time, that all the other times were in my head.
(pp. 14-17)
So we said goodbye to Michael, nervously heaping on parting graces, and silently rode the elevator back down to the first floor. We stepped out onto sunny Hollywood Boulevard, a street I drive down every day. Now when I drove past this building I would always know that Michael was in there, living on Social Security benefits, enjoying life and desiring only one last thing - to transform into a woman. His conviction ignited me, I felt light and alert. Evidence of his faith in this almost-impossible challenge was everywhere : the pink blouse, the makeup littering the bathroom, the handmade dildoesque wig stand. These were not signals of defeat. This was not someone who was getting sleepy at the end of his journey ; in fact, everything he had lived through made him certain of what mattered now.
(p. 26)
It occurred to me that everyone's story matters to themselves, so the more I listened, the more she wanted to talk.
(p. 35)
It would require constant vigilance to not replace each person with my own fictional version of them.
(p. 40)
As I left his I room I said something like "Maybe I'll see you around," as if our generation all liked to congregate at one coffee shop.
But the moment i got back in my car I knew I would never see him again, ever. It suddenly seemed obvious to me that the whole world, and especially Los Angeles, was designed to protect me from these people I was meeting. There was no law against knowing them, but it wouldn't happen. LA isn't a walking city, or a subway city, so if someone isn't in my house or my car we'll never be together, not even for a moment. And just to be absolutely sure of that, when I leave my car my iPhone escorts me, letting everyone else in the post office know that I'm not really with them, I'm with my own people, who are so hilarious that I can't help smiling to myself as I text them back.
(pp. 56-57)
At age sixty-five, an age so far past young as to be almost unfeminine, a woman had decided to photograph herself every single day. It was immediately one of my favorite works of art, all the more significant because she wasn't Sophie Calle of Tracey Emin. She knew no one would clamor for the three rooms' worth of albums ; their value was entirely self-defined. And though of course I wished I had somehow saved the albums, the performance had to end with her dying and the collection being thrown into the dumpster. It was the ending that really made you think.
(p.111)
I'm not especially terrific with numbers, so it was as if he'd just thrown some confetti in the air and called it words.
(p.120)
I’d had a similarly groundbreaking revelation twenty-five years earlier, when I was nine. The epiphany came one night, just before I fell asleep: I would make an entire city out of cereal boxes. I’d collect the boxes over months and I’d paint them, hundreds of them, stores and streets and houses and freeways, forming a whole little world that would be an accurate representation of my hometown, Berkeley (although I wasn’t totally married to the specifics yet—it might be better to make it more of an Everytown, USA, since geography wasn’t my strong suit). The city would take up the whole basement floor and I would bring special people down there, to the basement, and turn on the lights and, boom, their minds would be blown to pieces. After passionately nursing this idea for about an hour, I suddenly had another idea: No I wouldn’t. Of course I wouldn’t make an entire city out of cereal boxes in the basement. The moment I had this second thought, I knew this was the real one. But I also felt certain that the thought itself was the only thing that had stopped me, like a witch’s curse—or, no like the witch hunters, the small-minded, fearful Local Authorities.
From then on to this very moment, I had done everything I could to avoid them, but after almost three superstitious decades I'd come to realize that the Local Authorities are always there, inside and outside, and they get most riled up when I begin to change. Each time I feel something new, the Local Authorities step in and gently encourage me to burn myself alive.
(pp.178-179)
I'd could call her right now and ask. It almost hurt, remembering that Joe and Carolyn were a part of the world, surrounded by an infinite number of simultaneous stories. I supposed this was one reason why people got married, to make a fiction that was tellable. It wasn't just movies that couldn't contain the full cast of characters - it was us.
(p.216)
Inscription à :
Publier les commentaires (Atom)
Aucun commentaire:
Enregistrer un commentaire